Coastal Collective Co.

Make It Happen: Dealing With Self Doubt

Personal DevelopmentAnneke McConnell

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****ANNOUNCEMENT: For those of you who would like to LEARN MORE ABOUT PAINTING FURNITURE before the holidays and learn more about an online painting party/class, click below.

Ok, so with that announcement made, I can fully address today's topic - dealing with and overcoming self doubt.  This past week, not gonna lie, was a bit rough. I found myself getting into the comparison trap and fighting a ton of negative thoughts about myself, my skills, my experience, my passion.  I was beginning to completely doubt myself! Before I knew it, I was heading to a bad place pretty quickly. Don't you hate it when that happens!

I suppose I'm old enough now to know that these feelings are normal  and that they come and go, but as I teach people in the Make It Happen Challenge, emotions and decision making go hand in hand.  Emotions are valuable in the decision making process, but they shouldn't boss us around.

So what do you do when you are dealing with self-doubt? When you start to feel like, "What's the point? They're so much better than me. I'm not good enough. What was I thinking.  I should just quit."

All very real and valid feelings.   Let's talk through it.


1. Consider the Timing.

These feelings are more likely to surface when we embark on something new.  A new schedule, job, project, class, relationship, work within an organization, you name it.  Maybe you have a solid skill, but you're working with new people in a company.  Maybe you are finally attempting to learn "___________".  Conversely, you may face self-doubt when you are doing what you've always done, and people around you are changing and doing things differently.  I see this a ton in the blogging world (because it's so old you know). ;-)

You will likely face self-doubt at different points because there is a bit of "newness" involved, on your part or others.  Keep pushing forward, and the less "new" it gets, likely the less self-doubt you will feel.  It's why it's a beautiful thing to see an accomplished musician play, or a seasoned teacher teach.  They have invested the time and gained self-confidence over the months and years.


2. Get Sound Advice.

Surround yourself with like-minded people who love you, support you, and whom you have given permission to help you evaluate the circumstance.  We all need a handful of family and/or friends that we trust to be honest with our ideas and goals.  I would not be where I am today without the encouragement of these people over the years, and yes, they told me when I had bad ideas or that I might want to consider an alternative "plan of action".

We are better when we reach out to others for advice and encouragement, without feeling afraid of their ideas to help us.


3. See Your Comparisons As Learning Opportunities.

Usually when we begin to compare ourselves to others, it's because we see what they've done and feel like it's sooooooo much better than what we created.  And to be honest, sometimes it honestly is.  Ouch.

That doesn't mean that we need to adjust our course of action, shift our priorities "to one up them", or quit all together.  It gives us an opportunity to be "appropriately inspired".  It gives us an opportunity to "level up".  If you feel overwhelmed, go back to your priorities.  

I'll give you a personal example.  I found some other blogging ebooks (there are really so many!) and painting classes that made me feel just a "bit small".   I wanted to go into full blown "make it a million times better" mode - BUT, I reminded myself that my faith and family come first, and I did the best with the limited time I had.

I actually DO feel confident that what I created is a fantastic resource for learning how to start a blog. And it lines up with my goals at this time, which is to cut the fluff and help people get started on the right track.  If you'd like to check it out, you can go here >>>>> OR get my FREE blogging tips HERE.




4. Step Away From The Situation.

There's this crazy balance when we have goals between pushing forward, pushing through, tackling things head on, and then taking some time to walk away.  I think it does something wonderful for our brains and bodies when we change things up a bit!

Go for a walk, go out with friends, spend time with your kids, watch a movie.  If you're working on physically high intensity goals, do a low intensity activity.  Likewise, if you are doing tasks related to your goal that are a low-intensity, take some time to do a high-intensity activity.

Change the scenery. Take a deep breath.  It will be okay.


Have you struggled with self doubt recently or frequently?  What steps have you taken to move past those moments?

***See the entire series HERE.




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